Tuesday, June 10, 2014

An update of sorts.

I haven't much felt like updating this spring (obviously, since it's been so long), for reasons I'll save until the end of this to delay the depressing part, but things aren't all bad.


I'm quite happy that *my* hawks are back this year and in the nest above my bedroom window that they built last year. This picture is a couple weeks old now (probably from my deck around Memorial Day weekend) but you can see momma up there doing her thing. Exciting!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Last year we didn't get chicks. (The parents had a big fight with a pack of crows one afternoon while still brooding and then they never came back to the nest after that.) I was obsessed with watching them come and go at such close quarters and took it quite badly when it came to an end so quickly. So this year I've tried not to get too attached. *ahem* 

My patience has been rewarded though because this year we have two chicks! At first you could only see the occasional fuzzy wing flapping up but, as of a week or so ago, they are now regularly waddling around the edges of the nest and staring down at the house, trying to make sense of things. 


The leaves have filled in on the trees now (FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!) so picture taking is difficult but they look a lot like this picture from the internet. (I can still see them from different parts of the deck.) A little less fuzzy each day and a few more feathers and awareness. Should be no time at until they are starting to fly around.  I will truly miss them when they are gone but there is always the chance the parents will be back next year. FINGERS CROSSED. (Fact: There is no point at which I would be bored, blase, or not over the moon at hawks nesting in my yard. Ever. It's cool to infinity.)

(Also a fact: the husband and I are too dumb to figure out what kind of hawks these are. We thought sharp shinned last year but they are MUCH too big in size for that I've now decided. They are like full sized turkeys roosting in a tree. So possibly red-shouldered hawks? WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR US??????????)

The husband continues on with his weaving. We are AWASH in scarves here. What the bloody hell am I supposed to do with it all? They just keep coming and coming. (He's finished TWO more since this picture as well.) I should set up an Etsy shop for him but I'm exhausted at the thought of it and can't quite manage it yet. (It's not as easy as all that as I have no choice but it roll it into my own online business, which changes everything I currently do for resale taxes, property taxes, income taxes, etc. UGH. They do NOT make things easy for people who WANT to do the right re: small businesses. /end rant)

What the scarf god gives, he also takes away.

 I finally came to terms that my Vail scarf is unwearable in it's current form. The yarn is too light and airy to be a scarf. It has no structure and a scarf that lies like a dead thing is a useless scarf to me, considering how cold the winters are here. After two years of using it not even ONCE, I bit the bullet and...

...unraveled it. Bye bye hours and hours of knitting. Painful, but no less painful then it's useless scarf-like state. /shrug. That's the thing about knitting with natural-based yarns - you can generally just unravel them and start over again. (If you have the balls to do it, that is. :)) Oh, it looks like a bunch of crazy hair doll there but a long soak in the sink and hanging to dry on a plastic hanger for a few days....

..and it's right back to being normal and ready for something else. I'm not quite clear what the something else is at the moment but I am glad not to have that beautiful LOOKING (but useless) scarf making me feel bad any longer.


As far as the badness.....well. My sweet, gentle, baby Meisha is dying. That sounds overly dramatic written out but I honestly don't know how to pretty it up. 

There has been a lot of testing over the last few months, with both good and bad results. A bit of confusion. (The vet has never actually had a case of idiopathic hypercalcemia in his practice so we're figuring things out about how to proceed together.) Her soft tissue is being mineralized as calcium builds up throughout her body. There is no cure but there are things that can help some cats. We're doing injections of B12 at home for a few months to see what happens with that. So far, I am not optimistic but there are many months and many more injections in The Currrent Treatment Plan. There is no way of knowing how long she has. (Months? A year?) Her kidneys could give out and give us no options or they could hang in there and leave it to us to decide when the pain is too much, or the anorexia is too much, etc. She seems on this side of 'ok' and more thin than 'sickly' for the moment but things are changing from week to week. This week we are adding in an ulcer medicine, for reasons I don't want to get into because it's depressing. It's all depressing (I AM depressed...or my soul is depressed) but what can you do? You do a bit of face down crying, get over it, get on with things, and get used to the new normal. (The new normal sucks though. Just to be clear. I want my old normal back. Sigh)

17 comments:

Annie said...

What a post!

Those hawks are amazing. I never knew anyone who had them so close by like that.

Mr. Weaver has really become addicted to this. Those are really beautiful. Hope you can find a way to sell them (if you can bear to part with them) that doesn't cause too much extra effort.

I can't believe you frogged that lacy scarf! So much effort. Might be tricky to find the right pattern for that yarn, ya think?

Poor sweet Meisha. At least she has a loving Mommy to care for her. Sounds like a real medical mystery.

Sounds like you need a break and some fun time for relief. Don't make yourself sick with worry.. it just won't help.

Sending good positive thoughts your way.

Margaret said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry about Meisha. I'm heartbroken for you. I can so understand your being down and depressed and not in the mood to blog. What can I say? Words are inadequate. :(

Can I say you are so brave to rip that scarf out and get that yarn back into shape for knitting again? I didn't even know you could do that.

Love the baby bird pic.

Jackie said...

So sorry to hear about Meisha. I have no words of comfort as since we lost our Kenzie pup this past Monday I'm not sure I could find the words to help. It's hard and it hurts. I hope that she responds to treatment.

As a friend of mine said: The only problem with dogs is that they don't live long enough. The same goes for kitties.

Penny said...

Oh Melanie, such sad news. It sure puts the issues with my cat in perspective. I hope they can find a treatment that helps her. Lots of hugs and good wishes being sent your way.

That baby hawk is sweet ~ so far as not getting too attached ~ probably impossible.

Jan said...

First off - that man can weave! Great looking scarfs.

Re-use that gray yarn. Something will come of it.

I am so sorry about Meisha. I remember giving our Squeaker IV fluids at home. We do what we can for our furbabies. Hang in there.

Maggee said...

So sorry to hear about poor Meisha! You are being good parents...hope it all goes well as time passes! Hubby is so talented at weaving...great scarves! Big Hugs to you!! Maggee

Maggee said...

Man! Forgot to say how cool it is about the hawks in your tree!! That is SO cool!!

Beth said...

My delight with your hawks was immediately superseded by sadness and worry over Meisha. You are being the best and most responsibly of pet owners. It drives me crazy to think how many people would never notice that one of their animals was ill, or if they did, not pay to go to a vet. You have done all you can to give her the best quality of life possible for however long that life might be. I know that does nothing to stop the tears.

valerie said...

Oh no...poor Meisha. I am so sorry Melanie. That's stressful, worrisome news. I am glad that the baby hawks have been providing some distraction for you. And your hubby's weaving is awesome!

Cath said...

sorry to read about Meisha , I know how much you love her.
I'm sure that whatever happens you will do your best for her and make her comfortable. Thinking of you .xxx

Vickie said...

Melanie, I am glad you are trying your best with your sweet, dear companion Meisha. Oh how we love them. They give us such love. You and Meisha are in my prayers.

Cole said...

Aw Melanie, I'm so sorry to read about Meisha, what a difficult time. Thankfully, she's in good hands with you, and whatever decisions are coming your way you'll do the right thing for her. Hugs to you friend xo.

Carol said...

Darn, just darn--I'm so sad to read about little Meisha. Poor little sweetie. I know how much you love those "babies," Melanie! It just doesn't seem fair... I know you will give her all the love and help you can in her remaining time. I'm sending a big hug to both of you...

I would be enthralled with a nesting hawk in my backyard, too (heck, I'm enthralled with a nesting anything :). It must be fascinating to watch the little ones grow and change so quickly.

Your husband's scarves are wonderful--I hope he can work out a way to sell them without too much hassle. And good for you for going ahead and "unknitting"--you'll end up with something pretty AND useful, I'm sure...

Take care now, Melanie--I'll be thinking of you and Meisha.

Julie said...

Such beautiful scarves your hubby has woven, clever chap.

Hawks .... wow, that's amazing, how wonderful to watch the new babies emerge and grow.

My heart is with you, such sad news about little Meisha.

{{{{love and hugs}}}}

Dee said...

I am so sorry for your sweet kitty. It's hard when our "babies" are hurting.

geeky Heather said...

{{{Hugs to the max!}}} I'm so sorry about Meisha. I'll pray that it's clear when (if) you need to let her go, because that's one more agonizing thing that you don't need...uncertainty. I still miss my Tabitha but at least she went quickly.

The scarves are fab!

Also...LOL at having the balls to unravel the yarn, because then it eventually ends up in balls, and that makes me laugh. Because you have to have balls to have balls, yes? Anyone? Hoookay, one more cookie and I will officially have had too much sugar for the day.

Catherine said...

My heart was breaking for you when I read the news of Meisha....you will both be in my thoughts and prayers...

Amazing to be able to see those hawks so close! I too get attached to the birds that nest around my house, so I get it!

Love your husbands scarves ~ I used scarves all winter (starting in fall and really going into spring). Definitely a must with the winter we had!!